I gave in and made one because Summer told me to. XDD I'm hoping that this isn't going to bore whoever decides to read this.
And I HATE complaining for my first post but I just.....It's seriously on my mind.
Am I diseased? I am seriously starting to doubt whether or not I have ANY sort of sex appeal at all or if he listens to me at all or, if he does, maybe he's hoping that if he ignores the situation it'll go away. Well it's not. I want him to kiss me. I understand that he's asexual, really I do, and I've been completely supportive and thrown away my own needs because I want him to be the most comfortable he can be.
But we've been dating for almost a year and he's only kissed my cheek once. And it's not like I haven't talked to him about it; I've told him I want him to kiss me, I just don't know what he's comfortable with and where his lines are. I don't want to cross anything that he doesn't want me to. And you know what he said to that? That it made him happy. He didn't tell me what his boundaries are, whether or not I could kiss him, no hint on whether or not he was going to kiss me, NOTHING. And he did NOTHING the next time we saw each other, our first time seeing each other face to face since I talked. I understand that we're in a long-distance relationship and that these things might be hard to remember. But I said it was important to me. VERY important to me. And he simply said that it made him happy.
I feel like I'm diseased and gross and unwanted. I've never felt so unattractive before in my life, and that's including my ex constantly making me feel like I was never thin enough, like every pound I gained had to be made into a public announcement. I would understand if he said no to the kissing. That's why I asked in the fist place.
But I can't bring myself to ask again, I just can't. I opened up and made myself vulnerable and bared my deepest needs to him and all he said was that it made him happy. I don't know what to do and all I feel is undesired and not good enough. Because it's obviously something I've done.
Because it's all well and good that it made him happy, but he didn't give me an ANSWER which makes me feel unwanted.
I know it's not even remotely this simple but, maybe you should tell him this? The honesty will go far. Even if you feel like you're being pushy a relationship is a two way street. It's ok to be nervous, and not understand someone else. So when you tell him, don't be afraid to show him that it's been hurting you, but don't accuse. If you love him, you won't hide your feelings from him, and if he loves you he will accept them.
ReplyDeleteNo?
But I've tried once. I can't keep doing it if it's not going to stick. Maybe later, but not right now. I just can't bring myself to do it. It's one of those, "If he was too distracted the first time then he's going to be too distracted to pay attention the second time." It's not that he doesn't care, it's that he doesn't realize how serious it is on my end.
ReplyDeleteAnd he always makes himself up to being the worst person in existence when I bring things up, and I don't want him to feel that way. I just wish he'd given me an answer the first time. :/
I agree with Ty--you should tell Roddy this. I think it sucks not to get the physically attention you need. Just tell Roddy about it and see if he makes a move next time.
ReplyDeletebtw, you're not gross or disgusting; you're very beautiful and cute and absolutely adorable :3
"btw, you're not gross or disgusting; you're very beautiful and cute and absolutely adorable :3"
ReplyDeleteAgreed
Gosh, I just wish he had said what I needed him to in the first place. I feel needy and like he'll break up with me soon.
ReplyDeleteI complain about the distance, I complain that he doesn't listen to me, I complain that he didn't try hard enough to see me, I complain that he might be moving even farther away, I complain that he's planning on spending money on pets when he should be saving money for when he has to hard core pay for rent, I complain that he never lets me get a word in when he calls, and I'm afraid that if I complain about the physical, when he's clearly stated that he is asexual and wouldn't be comfortable with ANYTHING, and demand for him to give me boundaries that he'll break up with me.
I don't want to give you any advice that would cause harm to your relationship.
ReplyDeleteBut It seems that even if you feel you complain a lot. There are other issues that may be more severe. Personally I don't think complaining is the best way to go about things ignoring them won't help either. If you're afraid you've already pushed the envelope too much then I do recommend being careful. But if you're that afraid he'll leave you when (from what I can tell from what I've seen) you're the one who's hurting, then... that's bad.
If he cares about you he won't leave you, he will listen. With a serious talk, and an effort to communicate your needs, changes can be made. But you have to try to make them.
I hope my advice was helpful. I wish I could somehow put it better.